“But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Corinthians 11:3, ESV)
Seventeen years of marriage had passed, and I sat on my bed crying to God—begging God to help my husband lead our family well.
This wasn’t the first desperate cry to God in hopes that He would magically change my husband into the leader I wanted him to be.
You see… only being in church for a short amount of time in our little small town gave evidence to me of men who carried and read their Bibles. Men who quoted Scripture. Men who wore suits to church. Men who taught Sunday School.
And, my husband—he was a total opposite.
… He carried the Bible but didn’t read it.
… He had no care to quote anything.
… He wore jeans and a t-shirt to church—usually accessorized with holes and grease stains.
… And he preferred sleeping in, rather than arriving to church any earlier than when the sermon began.
I felt utterly hopeless that my husband might become the leader I envisioned.
Sweet friend, if this is your story, find hope in my story.
God did answer and continues to answer those prayers from years ago. He didn’t transform my husband into the leader I wanted or imagined but, rather, into the leader our family needs.
… Every holiday, my husband gives me my favorite gifts—commentaries, theology books, and many other resources that will help me grow into the knowledge of God.
… When I want to gather ladies in our home for Bible study, he helps me ready everything by mopping the floor, buying our favorite snacks, and clearing all children from our home.
… He doesn’t make a fuss when the house gets messy from a lack of daily cleaning— when I am spending an unusually large amount of time reading, studying, and writing.
… He rebukes our children with gentleness and truth—not with cruel words.
… And he continues to wrap his arms around me and kiss my forehead in the very same spot—each time I need to feel safe. Why? Because the familiar arms and kiss from twenty-four years of marriage calms a girl’s heart.
You see, God doesn’t define husbands as leaders by what they wear, but by the actions of loving and cherishing their wives in ways that transform them into the beauty of Christ-likeness.
Yes, he still wears jeans and a t-shirt to church, but now his clothing is accessorized with holes minus the grease stains on most days. And this makes me smile because he leads me and our family in the unique ways that are best for us.
Heavenly Father, I thank You for opening my eyes to the gifts You have given me in my husband. I am so grateful that You answered my prayers by not giving me the leader I wanted, but giving me the leader I needed. And, thank You for the ways in which You will continue to transform him into the leader our family needs in the future. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Embrace His Truth: 1 Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 5:25-27; 1 Corinthians 7
